I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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