We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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