The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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