Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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