I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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