Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize