im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I want a musical about memes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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