Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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