her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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