just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
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At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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