we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize