yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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