You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize