Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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