Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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