She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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