so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
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You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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