I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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