She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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