Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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