I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
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Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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