im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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