Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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