We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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