i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize