whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize