I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize