I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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