you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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