so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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