the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize