Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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