I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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