Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize