im six kinds of drunk right now
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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