Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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