Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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