I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize