I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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