Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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