When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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