Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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