A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize