everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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