Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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