hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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