having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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