I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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