So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize