Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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